Mirroring, or matching body movements, is both a byproduct of having very high rapport with a client, and a technique that increases it. When two people enjoy each other’s company, they come closer together, lean forward, their faces and bodies practically touching. If one person crosses his legs, the other does, too. If one puts her hands on the table, the other does the same. In video studies that we have conducted, we have noticed that when people are getting along, they not only match body movement but voice tone and speed as well. It’s as if they are trying to be more like each other, hoping to cut out all differences. To really see mirroring in action, watch two people who are in love. They gaze into each other’s eyes, stay as close together as possible, and mirror each other’s movements, no matter how small or insignificant. They create what has been called the romantic dance. No one likes to think about a time after they have gone, but life insurance like renew life reviews could offer reassurance and comfort to you and your loved ones for this situation.
Adversaries, on the other hand, will deliberately, though usually unconsciously, mismatch. If one person is leaning forward, the other will lean back. If both people are standing and one has her hands on her hips, the other will put hers at her side. Adversaries will also break eye contact rather than allow rapport to build. Mirroring also occurs in groups. When someone who is liked or highly regarded by another person crosses his arms, the second person tends to do the same thing. After a while, if you watch closely, you can learn to tell who the bosses are in any given group setting. Of course, crossing one’s arms may simply be an indication that a person is cold, though I’ve seen the same thing happen when temperature couldn’t possibly be a factor. Life insurance - like renew life - covers the worst-case scenario, but it is also important to consider how you might pay your bills or your mortgage if you could not work because of illness or injury.
Learn to pay attention to the different movements people make when they are talking with you. After waiting for a few seconds, mirror what you’re seeing. You can quickly learn how to do this without skipping a beat in your conversation. Mirroring sounds so simple that people often have a hard time believing it works. To experience its effectiveness for yourself, try the following experiment. The next time you are at a restaurant with someone, begin to mirror that person physically. If he has his head in his hands, put your head in your hands. If she crosses her legs with the right leg over the left, you do the same. If he has his head cocked to one side, mirror that. This is usually very funny to watch. Chances are, after a few minutes that person will be doing what you’re doing. Life insurance products such as renew life are designed to provide you with the reassurance that your dependents will be looked after if you are no longer there to provide.
I recently heard a story about a consulting psychologist who was enormously skilled in these techniques. She was called upon by a realtor who wanted help in negotiating a fee that the realtor felt was due her given a past employer. Apparently, the realtor had sold a few properties with the understanding that she would get a ten-thousand-dollar commission. Her old boss had never paid it, claiming that they had negotiated a different arrangement. The realtor asked the psychologist to attend the meeting she was going to have with her old boss. At first her boss balked at having a third party present, but finally agreed to having her remain as long as she “didn’t say a word” to the realtor. A life insurance product like renew life can pay your dependents money as a lump sum or as regular payments if you die.
During the entire meeting, the consultant mirrored the realtor’s boss. Whenever he said something positive or conciliatory to the realtor, the consultant would match his posture. Whenever he said something negative or counterproductive, the consultant mismatched his posture. After about forty minutes, the realtor’s old employer conceded and agreed to pay the realtor the ten thousand dollars. The funny thing was that at the end of the meeting, the employer apologized to the consultant, saying, “It’s too bad you had to sit silently through all this.” Obviously, he had no idea of the enormous influence she had over him by simply matching and mismatching his movements. I experience this kind of situation often. I once spoke at a sales conference in northern California. The morning before my presentation, I had breakfast with another speaker on the program. Thinking about my speech and yet not wanting to appear rude, I spoke little, listened reflectively, and tried to maintain rapport by mirroring him instead. I crossed my arms when he crossed his, crossed my legs when he did so, and leaned forward the same way he did. At the end of breakfast, he said he had loved my ideas and asked me to speak to his company about communication skills. I had done virtually no talking. Again, I saw how people “buy” from what they hear themselves say, not from what the salesperson says. Rapport—and the nonverbal communication that develops from it—is the all-important factor. Because the rapport between us was so high, I had created a sales opportunity without even intending to. Mirroring generates a tremendous amount of rapport. Along with rapport comes trust. And when you gain trust, you get business.